Hacking Love In India: Teaching A Billion To Love, Fuck, and Live Well
take away the biggest life, love, and initmacy lessons that will transform the way you see human connection - based on lessons from thousands of questions to LoveDoctor.in
Founder of love and sex counseling service LoveDoctor refects on one year of providing advice to India’s youth and shares her proposals for making loving and having sex easier, more fun, and safer for a changing India.
an open mind :)
Avani Parekh, cofounder, LoveDoctor.in
Ute Wiemer, cofounder, LoveTreats.in
My name is Avani Parekh, and I’ve started a platform to offer free sexual health and relationship counseling aimed at people from South Asia and beyond.
I know, I know, what the heck is an American born desi woman doing starting something like this? Well, let me tell you.
I suck at love.
Let me tell you a story of two star crossed lovers … in the year 2004 I was interviewing the leaders of a cool project in Ahmedabad when in a flash of wind-swept hotness walks in the most beautiful man I had ever seen.
I did not, and never believed in love at first sight. Until that moment.
This caramel skinned, brown eyes beauty with an ‘Om” on his shirt walked into the room, motorcycle helmet in hand, barely acknowledged me, and went into the bedroom to take a nap.
He had said hi, but beyond the normal pleasentries, didn’t seem too interested in talking to me.
Eventually he came out from the bedroom and we chatted about his work-and that conversation and the butterflies that came from them, made me show uo at his house every.single.day. I put myself in front of him to get him to notice me, and it worked - eventually we fell into deep like … then into love.
We got married.
We drifted apart.
We tried and failed, to have a family.
And before I knew it, I had spent 10 years in an incredibly beautiful and painful relationship - 8 of those married to the same person - and I fought and I fought and I fought to keep the relationship together, but ultimately it ended and I was heartbroken.
So you see, I suck at love. I was just as responsible as him for killing the love between us, and two years later after going on many dates, I am finally learning about what real love is.
It’s not that spark you feel when the most beautiful man on earth tells you he loves you. It’s not you giving up your dreams to make the relationship work. It’s not finding someone, or getting love or marriage at the “right time” because everyone says that is when you have to do it.
Love is this deep ache in me to make the world a better place. Love is recognizing that when we collide with people it’s never going to be easy, as some lovers are lessons.
Love is wanting all of you to have a space to talk about the things that took me 10 years to acknowledge, because, hell - it’s REALLY HARD to not have someone to talk to.
And I just wanted to create a safe space for the lovers of the world to get our their feelings and learn what they like, don’t like, need and want in life. How to have safer sex and pleasure and never feel small, or alone, as I did for so many years.
And you know what? After all of that, I still believe in crazy love. I still believe one day someone is going to sweep me off my feet and kiss me in the park and that I can do the same for him.
And that insanity, of being a true romantic - makes me believe that LoveDoctor will change the world, one healthy relationship at a time.
I’m here to talk about all the other things that can help your love thrive and grow, namely, a safe and confidential space where you can ask questions about relationships, love, and sexual health.