Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. Assertiveness is mainly a communication style.
This talk, primer and suggestions on how to practise assertiveness will help you to:
- Distinguish between assertive and aggressive communication.
- Learn how to communicate your needs.
- Dispel myths about assertivess,
- Practice different ways of saying ‘no’.
Slides for this session are available on https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1NEkCddPrgxwS7CPYPsqEW7Ig2UtbTKyug_VcEVWlgmg/edit?usp=sharing
Speaker: Dr. Tarique Sani is a psychotherapist, paediatrician, forensic expert, PHP geek, photographer, cyclist, and currently a runner.
Unhelpful beliefs associated with saying 'no'
What are some of the unhelpful beliefs about saying ‘no’?
- Saying ‘no’ is rude and aggressive.
- Saying ‘no’ is unkind, uncaring and selfish.
- Saying ‘no’ will hurt and upset others and make them feel rejected.
- Fear of not being liked if you say ‘no’.
- Others’ needs are more important than mine.
- I should try and please others, and be helpful.
Inability to say ‘no’ results from deep conditioning. People who have difficulty saying ‘no’ usually overestimate the difficulty that the other person will have in accepting the refusal. In reality, when you express your feelings openly and honestly, it liberates you and also gives the other person the freedom to say no to you.